So, I turn 32 in a little less than a month (YES! Jenn and I are the same age for um..a month..ha!) Having reached this ripe old age lends itself to some self reflection. Something that keeps coming up and won't leave me alone is the "why are you still single" question. Please believe me, if I knew the answer to this question I WOULD TELL YOU! Now, don't get me wrong-I'm actually in a much better place than I have ever been before when it comes to this ol' love thing. In fact, I'm feeling so rational about it now that I'd like to tell myself about it. So, here you have it. A letter to myself, at various ages, going backwards through the awkward annals of my ill fated crushes and awkward dates:
Dear 28-29 year old Shawna,
You are showing great character by the person you have chosen to fix your affections on, but believe me when I say this-he is not the right one for you. It turns out it was more being in the right place at the right time (or, wrong time wrong place, really), that you even fell for him. Believe me when I say this--you WILL get over him, and you will actually be happy for him when he finds the right one, and marries her. Trust me
Dear 25-26ish year old Shawna,
What on earth were you thinking? He is not right for you, and you thank God now for letting you dodge that bullet.
Dear 20-21 year old Shawna,
Wow, this one was tough, but I promise you that you will get over it and be happy to be friends with him, to this day. Really.
Dear 18 year old Shawna,
Okay, that was awkward-you thought you were hanging out with just a friend and he showed up in a tie. Don't laugh at him, and try and have a good time. And, well-good call on not going out with him again. Really.
Dear 11 year old Shawna (yes, it was a long, dry spell),
Please keep on being excited about being asked to the 6th grade dance by that boy. Even though you found out the next day at school that you were like, 5th on the list of people he called and asked. (Wow, those catty 6th grade girls words still sting to this day). Although you weren't his first choice, you still could have had a good time, but you let your pride get in the way. You will continue to wonder whatever happened to that guy, and wish him well, even if you weren't his first choice.
Dear 10 year old Shawna,
Charlie is just your class buddy, do not try and have a dance with him at the 5th/6th grade dance. It will not go well.
p.s. that leah girl is after him too
Dear 10 year old Shawna,
You will continue to carry a love for Vincent of the tv show Beauty and the Beast. He's a good catch--a romantic, a poet, a protector..and, well, yes he also happens to be a teensy bit like a lion. This is okay. He only kills the ones that threaten you! On the other hand, Commander Riker of the Starship Enterprise is a good alternative..again, good choice. All he has to do is get over his thing with Counselor Troi and you're right in there.
So, there you have it...my romantic history. I've never actually dated anyone and most of my 'dates' have been unintentional and/or weird. I'm hoping that since the rest of my life sucks right now (yes, still unemployed although I do have an interview today) that something will give and the right man will fall into my path. Wherever that path may be.
Coming soon....my adventures in the weird world of online dating!
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