Why?!

Is there some kind of rule in life that if one part of life is going well, then other parts therefore will not be doing quite as well? That's my life right now. I am having trouble dealing so I'm going to just list the things out that are bothering me...and those that are going well. I love writing a blog because even though it's out there for everyone to see-it still feels like a personal catharsis time for me to be able to write it all out. And lists make me feel organized. I actually started this blog post on Monday, but wasn't able to get my thoughts wrapped around it until today.

1) Friends with medical problems-I have two very dear friends that are dealing with serious medical issues. I wish that I could just have some kind of healing hand and just touch them and make them well. They are awesome people who are taking everything in the right spirit--being positive and trusting in God to provide for them, so they've been good inspirations-but seriously, God? What gives? Please take my friends' pain away.

2) Family with medical problems-my awesome Pop-Pop started chemo on Monday. He said it wasn't too bad, and so far he's not feeling any ill effects (I think it helps that the treatment is going straight into his bladder). I want my Grandparents around for a long time yet-so he has to get better, and soon!

3) Family drama-my mom's brother, the youngest of five, has had his share of problems over the years. His latest problems unfortunately affect the family-over a year ago he got into some trouble with the law and Monday he finally had to face the consequences of his actions. He was sentenced to six months jail time and now we're all trying to figure out what to do with his dog (so far my other uncle is taking her-but he's allergic), and also with his houseful of 'stuff' aka 'crap'. He rented a house down at the beach so he'll lose that while he's in jail. It's just a big mess.

4) I'm worried/excited/scared about the show I'm in. There are new layers of things that I'm concerned about with it, but I'm not sure that I'm at liberty to say what those are yet.

5) Still unemployed.

Now for the good

1) I ABSOLUTELY love the people I have met doing this show. We have been referring to ourselves as bffs (best friends forever), especially since spending most of Saturday with each other (thinking about a few people in particular). We decided last night that we're just going to keep trying out for shows as a group and insist that the directors have to take us all =)

2) My Mom and Dad-they are amazing. 'nuff said

Um..that's about all that is going well right now. I mean, I'm in pretty good shape most of the time-but sometimes things can just pile up and get you down. That's when I turn to God.

Maybe I should do that now. Yeah =)

"Zombie Prom" excitement!

Here it is! The poster for "Zombie Prom"! The director sent it so that we can start promoting it through various means. I AM SO EXCITED! I'm not in the show a whole lot, but when I am-I'm having a blast. The director and crew are amazing and my cast-mates are SO much fun. It has been so great getting to know everyone. Some of the over-21's (as we refer to ourselves) went out for karaoke after rehearsal last night and we have plans for even more of us to go out on Saturday evening. Yay! We call ourselves the over-21's because there are actually quite a few high-schoolers in the show-bless their hearts! I love them too, but I haven't been around them as much as I am an 'adult' now. Sigh. =) I did not realize just how much I missed being around the creative theatre types. We're definitely of a special breed! I've got the bug so bad now that I'm actually considering trying out for another show! Yikes! It would coincide with commencement ceremonies though, so I'll have to think about it and figure out if it'd be too much of a hassle. Not saying that I'll get in, of course! Just trying to think through the logistics of being in a show makes me crinkle my forehead.

On another note--I'm watching "My Fair Lady" on TCM right now. I used to watch this movie every. single. day. Seriously. I still remember 90% of the words/dialogue. It's kind of scary actually--just how many lyrics are running around in my brain-and are they taking over where they shouldn't? Like, is that why I'm not good at long division and stuff? Too many lyrics? It's strange watching it now though, as a 31 year old and not a 13 year old. It's more obvious to me that it's not Audrey Hepburn singing. She had a vocal dub for the singing parts alone-the word on the street is that Ms. Hepburn was very upset by the studio's decision to do this as she had recorded all of the music when they went with Marni Nixon (I think that's her name-she's also the singing voice of Natalie Wood in "West Side Story" and Deborah Kerr in "The King and I". Yes, i know too much about these things! I did go to film school though) I watched a special on the movie once and they played part of Ms. Hepburn's singing and I really don't think she sounded that bad. But, the studio was king in those days and things were done differently than now.

So, yeah. Still no job-for those who are wondering. I have some prospects (hopefully) but, it's not looking too great these days. Sigh....

To accent, or not to accent

Something I have never really understood is the use of accents in films that take place in a different country. What am I talking about, you might ask? Well, take "The Reader" for example. The movie mainly takes place in Germany, yet all of the dialogue is spoken in English....with the actors employing German accents. My question is, why bother? You're already not following things realistically by not having your actors speak fluent German so why bother to speak in accent at all? It's not just the Reader that does this...pretty much any movie that takes place where English is not the primary language. This got me to wondering about things..as a singer of opera I had to learn to read foreign languages phonetically and also to understand what I was singing about so that I could properly interpret the song. Why don't actors have to do the same? Oh, I know the typical answer is that the viewer is too lazy to be bothered to read subtitles...but seriously--why even be bothered by the actor's accent if it doesn't 'sound' right then. It's inconsistencies like these that frustrate me, but don't keep me up at night. And that's my 2 cents!

Okay..so what I tried didn't work

That could be my theme today! But, alas..I have tried again and I think that I successfully set it up for my blog to feed to Twitter. Over your head? No worries. This is just my test run. Hopefully this will show up in Twitter at some point. Maybe not til tomorrow night though-I need to think about the frequency of the checks.

Learning the blogosphere ways

Since I've had quite some free time, I've been researching how to make my blog more available to the average web surfer. I've added some meta tags and have been analyzing 'who' is looking at my blogspot through Google analytics, and also I've recently added my 'follow me on twitter' area to the right of my posts (you may or may not have noticed). Now I've added an extra step and (hopefully) will be feeding my blog automatically into Twitter. This is kind of my test post to see if it works or not.

There's no real reason that I want more readers, other than everyone always wants their '15 minutes'. It's not like I'm going for ad money or anything (although that'd be nice), and in fact I have been reading articles lately that seem to think that not a whole lot of money is to be made, at least not how people were predicting they would in 2005. Anyways, I'm just curious and while I have some free time I thought I'd give it a whirl.

So...I almost became a 'skilled laborer' today, except. not really

So last night I hear from my parents that a friend of ours is working at a temp agency. I'm like..score! Gonna call him! So, I called him this morning and he, frankly, seemed surprised that I wanted to go with their agency. I thought it was odd, but put it off to thinking, well maybe it's because we know each other. About an hour or so later I go and look up the company online, yeah.. umm..turns out..they mostly work with the local shipyards providing skilled laborers.


pause for a moment while you picture me holding a blow torch or some sort of tool



Except you can't. Because I am so un-handy that I am known to use a butter knife as combination hammer/screwdriver.

Yeah, so I emailed him to say um..thanks, but no thanks. Now I feel like an IDIOT!

Just another day in unemployment land...

I did go to another agency this afternoon (doesn't look hopeful) and called another that I have an appointment with tomorrow. Hopefully something will come from it! 'Til then I just keep trucking and applying daily for the Ellen show..speaking of...better get my app in!
Signing off...

What are you focusing on?

So, while I've been unemployed I have had a lot of time alone with just me and my thoughts so this past week i decided to try and fill my week with more activity. If I have a plan for each day then I'm more likely to not be trapped alone with my thoughts. Because my thoughts aren't always good ones. Not like I'm sitting plotting things-but I get very easily discouraged when left to my own devices. So I worked one afternoon this week at a charity I sometimes work with, just doing some office work to help with their mailing list (accurate records save them money for their mail outs!). I saw a few movies...worked on a video shoot with my friend, Dave, had lunch with different friends almost every day (which i need to lay off doing that-spending too much money on food!) Anyways, in the midst of my running around last week a good friend asked me what I'd been focusing on that day. I had to stop and think about it, and I had to honestly reply-well, nothing really. Nothing worthwhile at least. So you can take that for either good or bad--good-meaning that I'm not focusing on the negative aspects of my current job situation, or bad-meaning I need to be more on the ball with getting jobs! Hanging out and meeting people for lunch and seeing movies for $5 during the day is all well and good, but I am really ready to get back into a routine. So, you know..if you hear of anything, please let me know!

Oh, and about the focusing thing-she was coming more from a spiritual aspect. And, in that realm--I'm getting by. I have faith that God will provide. He's done it before, and He'll do it again...even if I'm not sure at this point just exactly how that will be working out!

Just checking in!

So, I'm just checking in on you all. Whoever you are that read this =) I know that some of you are reading this on Facebook. I have my blog fed there in the 'notes' section as it was relatively easy to set up. If you are reading it there I would suggest you check it out on the actual blogspot page too: http://www.reflecting-light.blogspot.com. There's a delay in the loading onto Facebook so you'll be getting the info a bit quicker! Do you use a reader to read blogs? I tried Netvibes for a while, but I just didn't 'get' it so I switched to google reader, and suddenly everything just clicked! I would suggest that anyone try the service, it's pretty easy to set up and it's how I keep up with all of the blogs I read! Not only that but I get my daily dose of my favorite comic strips "Pearls Before Swine" and "Get Fuzzy". Good stuff =) So, there's my little google commercial. They really do know what they're doing..hey..maybe they're hiring! Gotta check that out. Yeah, I still don't have a job. I keep turning in my daily Ellen app (as I refer to it for myself) and I try and find a new job to apply to everyday, but so far it's pretty slim pickings. I'm staying hopeful and trust in God though. He will work it out, even if it does happen to look particularly hopeless at times!

Okay, that's all. I love you..whoever is reading this =)