That dark hole is getting bigger...

So, my 'service engine soon' light came on yesterday morning, just after I left the dentist's office where I had a couple of tiny fillings put in and some touch ups on some other fillings. I love my dentist, she knows about my employment situation and they only charged the insurance-no copay! I'm very thankful for that as I found out today that the repairs on my car are close to a thousand dollars. One. Thousand. Dollars. I'm glad that I've been holding off on any extra spending...as it is my parents are going to have to help me out (so I don't have to put part of it on the devil card). I held it together in the service rep's office for about five minutes, but then the waterworks began. I was so mad at myself for letting myself cry in front of them, but seriously-I've just had enough. My recurring mantra is-when God? when is going to get better? when will this hell end? I know that I am a lot better off than a lot of people out there-I have a roof over my head and food to eat-thanks to my parents--and if worse comes to worse and I don't have a job at the end of April I can go ahead and cash out my retirement and pay off my immediate bills....but..I don't know. Sometimes I just wonder what the heck God is up to. I hate being unemployed. I know He has a plan for all of this, but heck if I can tell what it is at this point.

**UPDATE** I was offered (and accepted) the temp to hire position for $8.50/hour. It's a start.