The Interview That Was Over Before it Even Started...

So, last Thursday I was out shopping for grad party supplies with Mom when my friend texted me asking if I was still looking for a job. Anyone who reads this blog realizes that the answer to this question is a resounding YES! So, she explains that her boss has a friend who is looking for a front desk receptionist for the dental practice where she is the office manager and would I be interested? At this point in my life I can't afford to not be interested, so I said yes and she emailed me the contact information. I called the woman later that afternoon and set up an interview for Monday afternoon. Fast forward past graduation party (fun!), commissioning (long! and boring! but nice!), "Working" opening night (we rock!), and Commencement (HOTTT! and LONG!)...in other words, a really busy weekend capped off with seeing "Star Trek" last night with the 'rents (great flick!) which also reminded me why I like to wait til the theatre is less crowded. The general public is gross, but I digress. I am doing some AP proctoring this week for Kempsville High School (Thank you, Missy!) so wakeup time was 6am today (eek, haven't seen pre-8am on a regular basis in a LONG time) so after that I grabbed a quick lunch with Jenn (yay) and then realized my shirt had a spot on it. Not acceptable for an interview! Ran home, changed the shirt and headed to the dentist. I should mention-I have a fear of dentists. I mean, I LOVE my current dentist--she's great! But my childhood dentist kind of ruined things for me-he was not gentle, ever-and generally smelled of garlic and tried to talk to you about whatever NPR program was on at the time..expecting answers when you have 14 balls of cotton in your mouth. But again, I digress. I was about 10 minutes early for the interview so while I waited I had time to sit and reflect, so I took out my moleskine and started to write about how I was feeling:

"So, today I am interviewing at a dentist's office. I know that it probably won't be a horrible job-but everything in my being is screaming nooo! I don't even know anymore what it is that I want to do. I mean, I'll be pursuing the career switcher program to get licensed to teach music K-12, but I'm not even sure that's even what i "want". Part of me wonders about what I would have done if I'd never been eliminated from my job at Regent. Would I have just stayed until it was no longer healthy? I wasn't always completely happy there but I was content. Maybe that's the problem. I got used to being content. Content is dangerous because it's so comfortable that you never want to leave. I got used to being there. Took it for granted that I'd be able to leave when I was ready. I was not ready when they told me that they could no longer afford to keep me on staff. Shocked. Hurt. Anger came later. And stayed. Fresh from earning my master's degree-I have no idea what I want to do and feel that I'm not really qualified to do much of anything. Well, except for singing. That I know I can do! But who's going to pay me on a regular basis to do that? I'm not good enough (or disciplined enough more like) to be an opera singer-and I don't love singing that way. I love music theatre-but if I'm serious about doing that then I need to get serious about losing this weight. The weight is out of control. I can't fit into my old skirts even. I'm lost. And alone. In a crowd. Waiting for an interview that that I don't want-but need. Simultaneously hoping/fearing that I'll get the position. Sounds like it's time"

At that point a woman comes out and introduces herself, says that normally she'd have me 2nd, but the original contact was busy with a meeting so they were flipping things around. We chatted for a bit as she told me about the job-I did my best to appear engaging and interested in how they run things there (not hard, because I did genuinely find it interesting-the office had a great vibe), told her a little about myself and then she went to see if the other lady was ready for me. As she was I then headed to her office-this is where things get interesting (finally, right? =) We shake hands and both take our seats and she finishes up typing something on her computer. She is glancing at me from the corner of her eye, but I pretend to not notice. She turns to me and says something like (I don't recall verbatim sorry)"now-I don't want you to take this the wrong way (and I'm thinking..good Lord, what did I do wrong already?)...but I looked at your resume after you sent it on Thursday and basically-you're over-qualified to work here. I was going to call you and let you know, but I figured you must have needed a job pretty bad to come in for this interview and I thought maybe by meeting you in person I could get a feel for what you're about. So I didn't call, and really any interview experience is good, no?

At this point I just kind of stare at her. I want to jump up and say YES! YES! You're RIGHT! Thank you, good-BYE!

But, I still need the job...I kind of hem and haw for a bit, and then I just decide to be as frank with her as she was being with me. I said, yes-I realized that this wouldn't be a dream job for me, but in today's economy I really can't afford to not follow up on any opportunities presented to me. She nods in understanding and we discuss my master's degree for a bit and what I did with it and what I'd like to do with it..and she says, before I worked here I was in the media business and I still have several contacts out there..how about I forward them your resume with an email explaining the situation. So, that's what she proceeds to do! I thank her, of course and kind of marvel at what just happened while she's composing it. Who knew that when I walked into the dentist's office for a job this afternoon that I'd walk out of there with four good leads which I WILL follow up with....but no actual job...Life is funny, no?

An Explanation

So, when I posted last I did not know how to put what I was feelng into words. Now it's Monday, about two weeks later and I'm still not sure I know how, but I'm going to try. You see, on the Thursday before Good Friday (me and major holidays do not go well together) my temp position was downsized due to the economy. It wasn't personal, it was just one of those things that happen when your company's sales are down to almost half of what they were the previous year. They decided they could handle the work with just the temp they already had and a part time person. So there I am, once again, made redundant (as the British so eloquently put it). So, let's so do brief recap of the last four or five months of my life, in no particular order other than how things come up in my brain:

--position of eight years eliminated
--graduated with master of arts degree in communication
--looked for lots and lots of jobs. Nada out there
--registered with temp agencies
--auditioned for a musical and made it (yay). Where I have also made many new friends.
--hired for a temp to hire position
--auditioned for another musical. Got in. Yay! More new and wonderful friends made
--laid off from temp position
--get in the Virginia Beach Public Schools substitute teacher system (have yet to get an assignment)
--apply at lens crafters (friend works there)
--randomly hear from a company that I pursued back in February, come in for 2 interviews, get really excited about it after the 2nd interview only to hear from them (via email of all things) that they went with another candidate. That one really stung.
--Freak out!
--hear about a position from a friend I met in the newest musical--which I've now applied for and hope to hear from....sigh
--Lens Crafters has yet to call, I checked with my friend and he said they've just been really busy.

Meanwhile, I receive my last severance check this week and I'm getting nervous about paying bills. I have some thoughts about my possible future and steps to take but I have some tests to pass first, and also need to get my feet wet on the sub teaching thing, to test myself. I am in the process of transferring all of my 403(b) (like a 401(k)) into a personal IRA through Fidelity....if things don't happen with a job soon I'm going to have to cash it out and pay off most of my bills (sadly, after penalties it won't cover all of my debt, but it'll get me really close). I am really trying to see the silver lining in the situation I am in. I know I should be grateful to at least have a roof over my head (thanks to my parents) and food to eat (too much! really need to lose weight)....so I promise you, I am grateful. But this year so far has really, truly sucked. big time.