And the winner of 'and guest'...

My best friend, Shelah! She knows the bride and groom from her many trips here to Virginia Beach so it was the logical choice! One might say the bride even told me that was how it was intended. Lol..what happened was that they really really really wanted to invite Shelah, but they had to keep their numbers down and other people were to be invited-people like family and friends they'd known for years! So, the solution-invite me (their wedding singer) and allow for a guest. Ding ding ding! We have a winner! Shelah and I had a great time, so it was a win-win (win) situation!

Oh, and the wedding was beautiful!

I am the WORST!

I get so many ideas about what to blog about and I'm like..yeah, I'll get to that real soon. But before you know it, life gets in the way and it takes me another month to get on here and write something. So, what is it exactly that's been getting in my way? Let's list them. I like lists. They make me feel organized.

1) School-I am taking two classes right now (one online, the other in person) that are doing their best to make sure that I'm never quite restful. They both include an insane amount of reading that I'm hopelessly behind on.  I also have a comp exam coming up, but everyone assures me to not worry about that-there's nothing I can really do to prepare for that other than just getting all my old textbooks out and brushing up on my MLA format. Even so, my stomach just got sick at the thought of it. This too shall pass, right?  So, school is definitely something that is taking more of my time than it's fair share. 

2) Church-not as much now as it has in the past, but I'm still at church 2 nights a week at my 2nd job. I don't feel like I'm doing a very good job lately because I've been so distracted, but hopefully I can change that about myself soon.

3) Work-Work is SO busy. I feel that as soon as I finish one project, I have five more that bloomed and need attention immediately!  Some things have shifted in the office and I've been doing some new things so, there's no rest for the weary or time to slack off there-I've got to come in bright eyed and bushy tailed. Not to mention that we were all out yesterday for a retreat in Charlottesville and then my boss and I are leaving tomorrow evening to go to a conference in Fredericksburg, VA. We'll be back Monday night, but that's another thing that's keeping me busy.

4) Friends-now this is the item on the list that I wish was taking the MOST time. I love all of my buddies and I miss them when I'm not always able to do things with them because of items 1-3 on this list.  They all know that I love them (because I tell them frequently) and they understand. I'm pretty sure they'll still be around on 12/23 when my graduate school career has finally (finally) come to a close!

So, that's my list. That's what's kept me busy this last month. Now, shortly here are a few things I wanted to blog about, but never got a chance to (in no particular order, other than how they came up in my brain)

1) meeting Tony Hale (of Arrested Development and other works). He was SUCH a nice guy and I was able to take alot of what he said to us in a session to heart. I hope I get to meet him again some day

2) Political bumper stickers-why? Why do people put these permanent things on their cars?  To me it seems like it's just asking for your car to get keyed or something? Political pen? yes. Bumper sticker? No thanks

3) Building a resume-I have had NO time to work on mine and there's a deadline coming up for me that I really need to get ON it so I can stop having that nag at the back of my mind.

That's about it---but hey-that would have been about a post a week, right?  Now you get one giant blog and hopefully, I'll post more in the future..but at this point, no promises. Til then--take luck with your care!

September Already

Memories....

As I went to bed this past Labor Day, after a day of being struck by a rampant stomach bug at my (bless their hearts) friends' family's timeshare in the Outer Banks, I had a little time to contemplate life and existence. Don't you often do that after staring point blank at the toilet bowl for a few hours? I thought about high school and junior high days and how I used to dread Labor Day because it meant the next day I'd be back in another school year, where I'd be forced to wear shoes everyday, put on something other than my bathing suit on a regular basis and be forced to read books I didn't want to. And do (horrified gasp) math! I can be such a contrary soul--tell me I "HAVE" to read something and my hackles rise! I'd rather read works of great literature because I want to enjoy them, not to be forced to find themes and analyze story structure (although now I do see the pros in doing so).  Tell me I have to solve a math problem a certain way and I will try and figure out how to do it my OWN way. Nevermind if it works out or not....thank God for calculators is all I have to say. 

Where it All Led Me

I often wonder, at 31 years old, what my life would have been like if I'd just been a little bit more disciplined with myself back in high school. If I'd just applied myself a little bit more. Sure, I took Honors courses, and even AP History (just the thought of that class makes my stomach clench in anxiety) and AP Music Theory (a joke of a class, if ever there was one). And I did well in these classes-even made it into the National Honor's Society (much to my own shock, senior year-lol) and graduated 'with honors'.  I don't feel that I became a critical thinker. I was too content with people telling me how things were and accepting them rather than stepping back and questioning what was being thrown at me.  

My undergrad degree turned out to be much of the same.  Although minoring in English in my Senior year was a step in the right direction. Honesty time though-I only arrived at that minor after realizing I needed something to fill up some upper course hours in electives.  Plus, I realized it would be cool to say that I have a Bachelor of Music in Vocal Performance with a Minor in English.  Most people's response to hearing my degree: So, what do you DO with that? Me: Umm...go to grad school? 

You Mean I Have to Work at It? Huh?

Speaking of music--I have the same problem-no discipline! Not to sound overconfident or anything-but I can sight read pretty well and so I was able to fake my way through a lot of years of piano lessons. I'm able to play, and am getting better every day now with regular playing at church, but I can't help but wonder what my skill would have been if I'd only applied myself back in the day. Singing also comes naturally to me. I love it, but even when I was majoring in it-I had a hard time making myself practice.  I sound like a guidance counselor or your Mom, don't I? Be disciplined! Apply yourself! Question Authority! (well, maybe not that last one).

Now I am in the last semester of a long trek towards slowly earning a graduate degree, basically one class at a time. I'll be awarded a Master of Arts in Communication in the Critical Studies track (ironically). Most people's response to hearing what my degree will be: So, what will you do with that? Me: Umm...write? 

Finding Your Passion

I was talking with a friend today about people who have passion. She was bemoaning the fact that she 'likes' doing a lot of things, but that she doesn't have a real passion for anything. Not that she's found so far. I think she's amazing at many things and that her passion will be revealed in due time, just maybe not in the timing she prefers. 

As for me and my passion, I think my core passion is music. I love everything about music; listening to it, preparing it, composing it (although that's another victim of my lack of discipline), performing it, sharing it with others. There's nothing like finding that next new band and wanting to share it with everyone! It makes me feel alive!  Not just the new stuff, but treasuring the music of the past as well. I feel the same way about film and television, although I feel less equipped to talk about them due to my lack of experience in it, although I'm working on it.  

I will graduate this December with my future wide open. If you follow me on Facebook at all you might have noticed that status updates lately have been ones of hopes and contemplations for the future. I'm relishing the thought of the endless possibilities. I hope you'll be there with me. 

So--Mom thinks she's funny...

No, my Mom thinks she is just hi-larious.

SHE IS NOT. DO NOT BE FOOLED!!!

She is a sick, evil woman! 

I came home from choir practice tonight, after having stopped at Wendy's to pick up a frosty for her and Dad. I'm innocently changing into my pjs, and think to myself, hey self-why don't you go ahead and turn on millie mac so it'll be ready when you're ready to sit down (or something to that effect). I look down at where it's resting on my footstool and promptly scream like a little girl.  Actually, more like a yelp than a scream. Like..hearing a dog get kicked. I just know it came from a place deep inside of me.  What caused such a violent reaction to my Mac, you might ask? Hmmm? Well, I'll tell you.  Mom apparently found a dead 'staghorn beetle' earlier today and decided it would just be SO fun to put it on my mac to wait for me.....and cause a HEART ATTACK! She's lucky I didn't keel over right then and there! I have gotten better about bugs and creepy crawlies in general, but that was just shocking.  Between that and the spider that's camping outside our front door, I'll be lucky to get any sleep tonight.

I have to hand it to her-it was well played. But vengeance is MINE!

*the bug that was actually on my computer was much darker and much uglier, but this was the best comparable image I could find in google images!

"And Guest" Please Apply Here

Got another wedding invitation in the mail on Saturday. I knew it was coming eventually because I'm singing in this particular wedding, but it was still like-UGH! ANOTHER ONE!!! Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for my friends, but there's not much to look forward to as a singleton going to a wedding. The wedding is October 11th at noon and the invite was for "Shawna Lawhorn and Guest"*. Hrmph. Who will be my 'and guest'? Any takers? I have til Sept 27th to find one. A little over a month. It's hard being a single, old fashioned girl invited to a wedding. I want someone to go with, but I don't want to be the one doing the asking--so I'm going this route. Please apply here to be my 'and guest'.










* this post was written mostly with tongue in cheek, I am perfectly capable of attending a wedding by myself. In fact I've done it dozens of times...still...I can't help but hope....

Okay, I'm not dying!

Not today at least! lol..thank you, everyone that has been concerned about my allergies. It's not like a hay fever thing--thank goodness, but really more of a drug allergy. So luckily I can avoid taking/eating the things that cause me to have an allergic reaction.  The thing I'm not sure about is my brain, though---I obviously was not allergic to whatever I ate yesterday because I finished the sandwich and I was fine. So, take that for what it's worth. I'm still alive and kicking...and avoiding ibuprofen! =)

i have 'issues'

Sitting in Starbucks today with my good friend and coworker, Heather...munching on a sandwich picked from their cooler while sipping on an iced grande vanilla latte (that I paid for with a gift card, score!)...everything was going great. It was nice to get out of the ol' office building for a bit, and it is simply gorgeous outside today. Then I felt it. A chill went down my arms....and I thought--NO, not again! I willed myself to CALM DOWN. DO NOT FREAK (speaking to myself in all caps is not very comforting, not surprisingly)....I stopped eating my sandwich and offered the rest to Heather. She was like..umm.no thanks? I took a few more calming breaths and began to explain why I had a bit of a wild look in my eye and seemed a bit twitchy...allergies. Specifically--food allergies. That I probably don't have. But that I possibly 'could' have,but haven't gotten tested for.

It all started back in college--I was taking some prescribed pain medication, only taking it when necessary...and not noticing until much later that a pattern was developing. Each time I took these pills I broke out in hives...combined with nausea, vomiting, blacking out and every time it happened, it got worse. But because I took these pills so rarely it took me a while to realize what was causing it. Once I figured it out--bingo--I stopped taking them and problem solved, right? Well, it turns out that they are part of the ibuprofen family--meaning I can't take anything like advil, alleve, midol...etc. Nothing with naproxen/naprofen in it. I've ended up in the emergency room twice after accidentally taking some products that contain what I'm allergic to, so--it's really not pleasant and now I know what the opening symptoms feel like. So any time that I now get even a whiff of that feeling-I start freaking out. And even if I'm not really having an allergic reaction, I still feel as if I'm having one because my brain is telling me--yes, you're having one!!!

So that's where we were today at Starbucks..Heather found it all very interesting and said I should blog about it..so I am. So, what do you think? Am I crazy? Developing some weird food allergies now? Was it the sesame seeds in the bread maybe? Don't they develop drugs from seeds? Maybe I should research the origin of the drugs I'm allergic to? Maybe I should see a psychologist/psychiatrist/counselor/etc..?

I stopped eating the sandwich while at Starbucks but brought it back to the office with me and just a few minutes ago I finished eating it. So far so good. Maybe I can stop the psychosomatic allergies and just concentrate on the real ones!